Thing 2: The day after tomorrow can we have pizza?

Me: No.

Thing 2: Not today! The day after tomorrow!

Me: No. We are never ever going to have pizza again. Ever.

Thing 2 starts to cry.

Me (feeling like a big jerk): Oh honey! Don't cry! I was joking!

Shira keeps crying.

Me (feeling like a bigger jerk): Look at me. Would I really never have pizza again? I love pizza. You know that.

Shira (stopping crying): I do too.

Note to self: They don't understand sarcasm.