Thing 2: The day after tomorrow can we have pizza?
Thing 2: Not today! The day after tomorrow!
Me: No. We are never ever going to have pizza again. Ever.
Thing 2 starts to cry.
Me (feeling like a big jerk): Oh honey! Don't cry! I was joking!
Shira keeps crying.
Me (feeling like a bigger jerk): Look at me. Would I really never have pizza again? I love pizza. You know that.
Shira (stopping crying): I do too.
Note to self: They don't understand sarcasm.