Yesterday was the first time I thought, "I don't like my children. They are obnoxious, mean, hurtful, violent brats and I don't want to be around them." It was a hard thing to say or hear but something that needed to be said and heard.
I know a lot of this is from our colds. This is the first time in a long time that everyone has been sick at the same time. So we are all grumpy from coughing and congestion. No one is sleeping particularly well and everyone is going stir-crazy in the house. The upside is that we didn't stagger our colds so once we are better, we are better.
Still I find myself automatically reaching for those standbys of threats and anger which just seems to exacerbate the situation. Those are also techniques I don't believe are particularly useful or appropriate with young children. But it is sort of what you do when you are stuck in line at the post office and your kids are screeching and running in front of people and say, "no," when you ask them to stop or stay by you. That it doesn't work particularly well is beside the point.
So I went back to my books. Those reads that help me through rough spots, remind me why I'm parenting the way I am and give me the tools to succeed. One of those books is Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeuld. There is a website based on his work and on that site is an excellent article titled "Why Children Say No!"
Dare I say that that article was just what I needed. It confirmed my feelings that the way I was handling things was adding to the chaos. My children are normal kids who are acting out of the disconnection and turmoil in the house right now. The solution is simple, easy and waiting for me.
So now I'm going to go collect my girls and connect with them over a cup of coffee (for me) and cocoa (for them) and an episode of Scooby Doo.
Please comment on yesterday's post with links to your favorite blogs. I want to fill up my reader!