Dealing With Death

So, what do you do when your five year-old is fixated on death?

Shira has become obsessed with it from asking when people will die to creating elaborate stories about toys who have lost all of their families. 

There have also been sleep and behavior regressions lately.

This started when my mother was ill and in the hospital. The girls wanted to see her and Aba and I responded that she wasn't well and we'd see her when she got better. Then Grandma was admitted to the hospital and we responded with , "Grandma's in the hospital and we'll see her when she's home." Then she wasn't up to company so we waited a bit to see her. 

Then my step-father passed away and we went to his memorial.

We visited Grandma and spent four days with her and hope to visit again shortly. During that time we went to the zoo and on the way there I mentioned seeing the bench my aunt dedicated to my uncle's memory. "What?" Shira asks. She then realizes that two people she knew had passed away.

Finally, we come home and Aba has a medical test that requires him to be under anesthisia. 

Now she's creating stories where Lovable (her bunny) has lost all of her family in a fire and she (Lovable) wasn't able to save them. Or her horse is all alone because everyone in her family got sick and died. 

So far we've just been listening and not making a big deal about it but I'm starting to wonder if we should be doing more.

RIP Flynn the Hamster

A week ago today the girls were feeding the pets when they discovered Flynn was dead.

He was the escape artist and never seemed to recover fully from his last adventure of four days with no food or water.

It was a surprisingly difficult thing for the girls to deal with. Shira was sobbing off and on all day. Her sisters, while not crying, would tell me at times that they missed him or were sad.

The most difficult part for them was cleaning out his cage. The idea that he wouldn't be going back in after we were done was hard for them to accept. We waited a couple of days and they were soon happy with the idea of creating a "mansion" for Rapunzel.

We've had talks about whether we should be getting another hamster. At first Aba was adamant that we would get one the following Sunday. The girls and I have talked, though, and we've decided to research bunnies, guinea pigs and chinchillas before we choose.

In this past week there have been random mentions of Flynn and how Rapunzel gets two pieces of pancake because she's the only hamster or a mention of him in the run down of who needs to be fed. There is still sadness, but the sobbing tears have passed.